Divorce brings about a whole whirlwind of emotions. At times, you end up getting wrapped up in your own problems and forget that your children are going through the same fears, anxieties and stresses that you are. To make sure your little ones get through the process as unscathed as possible, here are a few tips you can implement into your everyday life.
Spend time talking with your children to understand any concerns they might have.
You have to approach things differently with children of different ages. A four-year-old isn't going to understand what marriage and divorce are all about. You end up confusing the child and wasting your time. A better way to approach the situation is to keep things as neutral as possible. Simply tell the kids something like you and your spouse aren't going to be together any longer because you aren't able to get along together anymore. It's short, simple, and to the point for children of all ages.
Reassure the children.
You might not realize it, but many children end up blaming themselves for their parents separating. They feel like it is something they did that caused it to happen. You need to make sure that your children know it has nothing to do with them and that you both love them very much. Tell them that they will still be able to spend time with both parents and that you both are going to be there for them no matter what. Reassuring them will go a long way in helping them to get through the whole ordeal.
Children need structure and consistency. It makes them feel secure. Regardless of how you feel about your ex, you should spend some time going over with the other parent to make sure you are on the same page. Discipline, rewards and rules need to be consistent from one parent to the other. You don't want one parent constantly rewarding the children with gifts while the other one is always enforcing the rules. That isn't fair to anyone. Make sure you are both on the same page for the sake of the children.
By following the three tips above, you can help your children get through the divorce and grow into happy, healthy adults. Things happen all the time that are out of your control. It's how you deal with them that is going to matter the most.
For a military divorce lawyer, contact a law firm such as Law Offices of Peter Napolitano & Wayne Hibbeler.